but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
