Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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