You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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