Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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