i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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