Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
