We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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