yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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