I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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