is your mom at the bar?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
