Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
