took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
