Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i think im in europe. pls send help
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