Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
