i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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