so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
