too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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