I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
