Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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