My brain says no but my pants say off.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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