he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
