So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
