true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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