i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
