Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think my moral compass just broke
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