He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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