New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
