i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
