my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
