What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
