Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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