Will you blow on my dice?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
