i just had sex bonerless
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
