walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
