She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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