so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
