Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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