Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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