So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
