i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
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No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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