Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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