Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just invented taco cereal.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
