She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
