We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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