the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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