He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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