capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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