Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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