If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
