Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
