is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
