WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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