No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser