Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Damn victory sex feels great