Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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