he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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