1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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